I’m really bad at this trying to blog about something a few times a week. Like uber bad at this. It gets even worse when my anxiety rears its ugly head and I start overthinking every little detail of my life for the past twenty eight years. Of course the anxiety gets worse when I’m super stressed about something like I have been for the last week and a half. (They call Tech week Hell week for a reason)

But I swear I overthink every little thing, especially when it comes to certain people or when I’m around certain people and right now it is starting to get a little grating on my nerves and damn near unmanageable.

I’m just ranting at this point.

But maybe it’s because I don’t want to be seen as a failure to myself. Lately I feel like I have let every single person in my life (or at least every single person I’ve come into contact with in the past two weeks) down. This is including the amazing cast i’ve gotten to work with, the kick ass production team I’ve had, the director, my assistant stage manager, my family, friends, even my own characters in my stories. I swear it feels like I’ve done something to let everyone down.

The logical part is I know it’s an over exaggeration. I know for a fact that this is my own brain fucking with me and leading me to believe that I’m just a fucking failure. This is what logic says. Emotion says otherwise.

And of course I don’t talk to anyone about it because I think I’m a burden to everyone and I have this lovely wall that keeps everyone out which is so so detrimental to me because I don’t want anyone to worry but of course it builds and builds and builds to where I can’t handle it and it all comes leaking out everywhere.

In short, the last week and a half was difficult. I’m not handling the aftermath well and I feel like a failure.

Hopefully I’ll try to post content that isn’t about my anxiety or anything like that in the future. but for you readers who are following with me and have stuck with me. Thanks. I really appreciate it.

~The Brooding Dragon

A Rant About Life As I Am Currently

I have been on a long hiatus since college ended because I needed time to mentally and physically recover from everything. And life right now still isn’t sunshine and rainbows yet but at least right now I’m in a better place to actually write.

And I hate that I get so tired and too exhausted to write and most days I’m hardly doing anything save for binge watching cartoons or playing games on my phone when I’m not running a rehearsal. but those at least distract me from the rabbit hole my brain has been going down lately.

It’s not a good rabbit hole either.

Like anyone with anxiety…

My brain literally jumps to the worst possible case scenario and frightful things that shake me to my core and terrify me to the marrow of my bones. Maybe its because I’ve had an overactive imagination, or maybe I’ve seen or read too many stories that have god awful things happen to innocent people but there are just days where I cannot shut it off. They are becoming more frequent and paralyzing as the time goes on.

I become useless. I am rendered useless for a good while. Because all I can think about is oh god oh god what if this or this happens, the paranoia sending my heart thundering through my body and my breath in rapid gasps, like I cannot get enough air. The air becomes chillier, my fear gives me reason to quiver uncontrollably and I call out, reach out to anyone for help to talk me down, to tell me that I’m being stupid, to assure me that the world is not crumbling around me and that we are all going to die within minutes. More often than not I get no response until later.

It is times like those that I have to force my logical and rational side of my brain (of which I affectionately call Spock) to kick in. Because it’s been silent then entire time. That or it’s been trying to say something and the irrational Kirk side doesn’t listen.

When Spock kicks in, I move, I do, I research, I find something, anything to ground myself, to remind myself that it is okay, that I am okay. And it’s helped. It’s not always effective, but it’s certainly better than losing my damn mind over something so small.

There are times where someone will immediately respond and it makes everything easier.

And I am okay.

But because of the anxiety and the panic and the overactivity of my imagination I can shut down and cease to be functional. It also takes away valuable energy that I need to get through my day to do what I need to do. More often than not it renders me without spoons to use for that day, to where I have to draw upon spoon for another day. It is certainly going to bite me in the ass later on. I know it will, but sometimes I do what I have to.

It feels good to actually write again.

I’m going to do better to not let the anxiety and depression get the better of me as it has.

I still have no job. I’m searching and praying and hoping for one.

I hate our current people in power and I am praying that something will happen to change that.

I hate the fact that people have become so divided in the last year and lack empathy for others.

I hate the fact that I have lost interest in so many things and that I cannot get into a new series on netflix or hulu or on the television that I have recorded. Or even the fact that I can’t read a book for more than five minutes…

Right now there is so much I am not okay with in my life and so much I am working on. I’ve already made one goal. I have a bachelor’s degree. But is that enough? Is it enough to get me to where I need to be? Is it enough to get me a career where I can pay off the massive amount of debt I am in because of school?

Is it enough?

I’m going to refrain from going on another rant about being enough. That is for another day. Right now, I’m going to attempt to read a book or write something fictional.

~ The Brooding Dragon

Hades and Persephone

TRIGGER WARNING: I do talk about the subject of Rape and its etymology. I do not want to trigger anyone with my interpretation of the context. For the record Rape, in the context of today is A FUCKING TERRIBLE THING!!! I am not about it and I am trying to fight against the rape culture.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Lately I’ve been doing some research on the myths and stories surrounding the greek figures Hades and Persephone. Now, mind you this is the springboard for a panel I am working on at a convention coming up in about a month.

And OH MY FUCKING GOD!

SIDEBAR:

The Greek Mythos is literally inspiring me for more world building factors for my novel. Which is a good…and bad thing.

END SIDEBAR

Upon first researching the story I kept seeing the word ‘rape’ come up and I’m going “wait wait wait, Hades, come on buddy, that’s not fucking cool, you’re better than your fuckboy brother Zeus”, but of course I was looking at the word as society sees it today. Sexual violation. This is definitely a trigger not only for me but for SO many people out there that I know and even don’t know, which concerned me, because if I am going to be talking about this then I need to go deeper and even do more research to see if he actually did rape her in the context of today’s meaning of it.

What I found is actually more intriguing than I anticipated and for my own peace of mind I checked and rechecked the etymology of it before writing this. Thank you dictionary.com, wikipedia.com, and etymonline.com. I also found this little article which discusses it and gives some interesting insight:

http://powderroom.kinja.com/not-so-fun-with-etymology-rape-1581924332

(You don’t have to go here, I figured I might include it if you did.)

If we look at the word rape, its etymology, where it comes from, it originates from the Latin word rapere which, way back then, meant to snatch, grab, carry off, abduct, seize, you get the idea. It’s an archaic meaning that doesn’t quite translate to what we know the act of rape to be today. However, looking at the root and the origins of the word, it is easy to see how the word morphed into its current present day meaning.

So why is the meaning and etymology of the word rape important to the story of Persephone and Hades?

It is how you look at the word and define it. Are you going to look at the mythos and define it using the word rape in the context of today? Or are you going to look at it in the old archaic context of the word? Because depending on which way you look at their story, it will alter your perception.

Now, I know some of you are going to look at it from the standpoint of today’s meaning and that is perfectly fine. That is your translation of it and I will not fight you on it, as long as you have sufficient evidence and a plausible argument to back it up. If not I’ll bitch slap you with a dictionary.

Personally, I do not believe Hades forced Persephone to have sex with him. I do not believe he forcefully took her virginity or violated her sexually in the slightest. Because, and I cannot emphasize this enough:

He is not like his fuckboy brother Zeus.

Let me say this again.

HE IS NOT LIKE HIS FUCKBOY BROTHER ZEUS!

Have I drilled it into your head that Zeus is a fuckboy and basically has a constant boner all the time? Good. Because that is what he is. (Don’t believe that Disney shit they made in the movie).

Two, the myth never clearly states that he actually did force her to have sex with him. It is interpreted that he did. Also for all we know he might have kidnapped her, had her lived with him and treated her like an actual person instead of a little girl who needed to be protected from men (Demeter you need to work on that overprotectiveness).

And yes Persephone was distraught, I mean I would be too if the Ruler of the Underworld kidnapped me to make me his wife and forced me to live in the underworld with no plants, flowers, sun, and being separated from my mother. I mean come on! Also had she eaten or drank anything frot here she wouldn’t have been able to return to the surface. That was the catch with the underworld.

Well that just added another layer to her misery.

So poor Persephone is not only sacred and alone but she’s also hungry, starving even and that wasn’t because Hades had forced it upon her. It was of her own choosing. He wasn’t abusing her or treating her terribly, at least as far as I can tell, her time in the underworld, while her mom went batshit crazy (yeah Demeter I’m looking at you), Hades actually treated her like a person as opposed to a little girl who needed to be protected from man. I mean for fuck’s sake she did warm his stone cold heart when he saw her before he kidnapped her so it wouldn’t make sense at all for him to treat her terribly after he got her down there.

If you look at Persephone Writes a Letter to Her Mother by A.E. Stallings (which you can find here http://www.poetrynet.org/month/archive/stallings/letter.html ) it’s an interesting depiction and sliver of how Persephone’s time in the underworld was. The way she describes her husband is rather sweet and honest. In fact, I prefer her descriptions of Hades as opposed how the mortals of ancient Greece described him despite the fact that no one fucked with Hades (bad shit happens when you do, take a look at Sisyphus).

Reminder this is just my interpretation on this mythos even after I have found all the research!

But as we all know Demeter, goddammit Demeter, Demeter went fucking crazy. That’s putting it lightly. Don’t get me wrong she had every reason to, wouldn’t you lose your mind a bit after your child had been kidnapped and you couldn’t find them? I mean you’d do everything you could to find them and get them back.

Which she did. She asked Hecate who told her what she knew and to talk to Helios to get the full story then when she found out Hades had taken her daughter…

Well she basically stopped doing her job and nearly caused the world to end.

Talk about an over dramatic reaction. Again, Demeter, your daughter is a grown woman get over your separation issues and stop treating her like a little girl. SHE’S A FUCKING GROWN ASS WOMAN!!!

Can you tell I’m not a huge fan of most of the greek gods?

But at the same time again I can understand where she is coming from. She is an overprotective mother who doesn’t want her precious daughter defiled (which Hades may or may not have done, again up to interpretation of the word rape whether you have it in the old archaic context or the current context) or even kidnapped to go to god knows where (the underworld as she discovered).

Her reaction is justified. And of course she went to Zeus to fix it because oh lordy lord if she did not get her daughter back it would be an endless winter.

Be prepared ancient Greece, winter is coming. Demeter is pissed.

Eventually Zeus concedes, after seeing that the world is basically dying and sends Hermes to the underworld to fetch Persephone to be reunited with her mother.

Well. Hades did agree to return Persephone, and (depending on your interpretation) he either tricked her into eating Pomegranate seeds or she consented to eat them because she was starving. Who knows. Again up to interpretation.

For me, I take a more romantic approach of they actually got to know each other even though she refused to eat, and he treated her like an actual person as opposed to a child and she discovered that maybe being his wife might not be so bad after all and of her own volition ate the pomegranate seeds.

Oh no Persephone ate the seeds nooooo she’s doomed to remain in the underworld forever! Oh woe is the world woe is the world!

Well that is partially true. She did have to stay in the underworld, which pleased Hades and really pissed off Demeter.

Seriously Demeter. Calm. Your. Tits.

So again they go to Zeus who has known of this and basically is partially at fault for the whole debacle and he eventually made a decision which didn’t fully please both parties but it would suffice nonetheless.

For every seed that Persephone consumed, she would spend a month in the underworld with Hades. One seed equals one month. Some sources claim she ate four and spent a third of the year in the underworld. Other sources claim she ate six and spent half of the year down there. Me being me, I favor the six seeds because fall brings about the beginning of the cold months, the beginning of the plants dying, animals preparing for winter, etc.. So for me, I say she ate six and returns to her husband during the fall equinox. But that is just me.

So for spring and summer *insert musical number here from Spring Awakening* Persephone resides on the surface with her mother, and for fall and winter she returns to the underworld to reside as the Queen of the Underworld along side her husband.

Now. I am going to take the romantic aspect away and address the fucked up aspect of the relationship. You ready for this. I fucking hope you are.

The real fucked up part is Hades is her uncle.

Her. Uncle.

Yeah.

Via her father AND mother. Yeah her parents were brother and sister. Zeus is a fuck boy and will stick his dick in anything including blood relatives because apparently he can’t get enough sex. Too much of that little blue pill eh Zeus?

There is just so much incestuous fucked upness in Greek mythology that my brain might explode trying to explain it all.

Let’s face it… the Greek gods were just incestuous little fuckers.

Shit…this post went way deeper into a rabbit hole than I intended…thanks for taking this trip with me fam.

 

Reference Links:

http://www.poetrynet.org/month/archive/stallings/letter.html
http://powderroom.kinja.com/not-so-fun-with-etymology-rape-1581924332
http://www.theoi.com/Khthonios/Haides.html
http://www.theoi.com/Khthonios/HaidesPersephone1.html
http://www.theoi.com/Khthonios/Persephone.html
http://www.ancient.eu/persephone/
http://www.ancient.eu/Hades/
https://www.infoplease.com/language-arts/mythology/classical-mythology-hades-takes-wife-persephone

Also Wikipedia, Dictionary.com, and Etymonline.com

 

THINGS TO REMEMBER: This is all my interpretation of this story even supplemented with research and literary sources. What is stated here is mostly my opinion. Please. Do. Not. Lose. Your. Minds. You may agree or disagree with me. I’m totally cool with either. but then again it’s my fucking blog so I can write what I want.

 

~ The Brooding Dragon

 

 

An Open Letter To My Sister

First of all I’m sorry.

Sorry for the fact that sometimes I don’t think before I speak. I’m a passionate person and that gets in the way of the logical thought I want to express and it doesn’t seem like you care nor do you want to hear my side of the story.

I’m sorry that my selfishness gets in the way but the truth is I am a selfish person and my mental health is far more important to me than any person. That includes you.

I am sorry that my mere existence seems to put you off so much to where you take out everything on me when the tiniest little thing bothers you.

I’m sorry that I don’t stand up for myself when I firmly believe that your opinion is wrong especially when it promotes rape culture or misogyny. But it’s really hard to get in a fucking word edgewise when you lose your fucking mind about the fact that you may be wrong!

I’m sorry that I can’t take a joke, but one, I’m a squishy person and I’m sensitive. I can’t usually tell when someone is being serious or not, two, you always aLWAyS get pissed off when I react the way I do.

I’m sorry I don’t stand up for myself more. It’s really difficult when I have the fear ingrained into me that you might hit me for denying your opinion and expressing my own. It also make it harder when I hear your side, but don’t get to express mine because you refuse to listen.

I’m sorry that I suffer from anxiety, depression, ADHD, and slight OCD. I don’t know why I got picked to be one of those special snowflakes who suffer from at least four of those, but it really takes a lot out of me when I’m having a shitty day and my inner demons, and chemical imbalance work together to shoot me down and keep me there. I can’t just ‘get over it’ and ‘not worry about it’ because it isn’t as easy for me to let things go. It’s not as easy to just ignore it, or allow it to sit there. If you would like I will gladly show you MRIs and scans of individuals who suffer from what I do. I swear I’m not looking for sympathy. I just need understanding that my brain is different than yours.

I’m sorry that I see the world differently. My version of injustice is different than yours. Maybe that is because I’ve seen it more than you do, or maybe its because i’ve seen i in every history class I’ve taken.

I’m sorry that I’m not nearly as nurturing or as carefree as you want me to be. I don’t need to really explain myself here.

I’m sorry that you feel the need to invalidate my feelings because you’ve been through more in your life than I have. No. You’ve had a different experience.

I’m sorry I don’t think like you. No wait I’m not sorry for that. I’m not sorry that I don’t think the way you do.

I’m not sorry that I am mentally ill.

I’m not sorry for existing in your life.

I’m not sorry that I see the world differently.

I’m not sorry for anything.

You’re stuck with me and yeah right now it sucks that we live together. It sucks so much that we can’t have our own lives. But I hope you know how much I sacrifice for you. Mostly sleep, because clearly you forget that I am in the room right next to yours, and when you are up until wee hours of the morning with whomever you are with, with your dogs barking and making so much noise on nights where I actually have to be up early, it kind of takes a toll on me.

But I don’t complain to you because god forbid I complain to you. If I do of course you’ll say that your life is tougher because of reasons X, Y, and Z. That is invalidating to myself and that is not okay.

I don’t feel the need to judge you based on your choices of who you fuck, who you date, what you smoke, the list goes on and on. Yet you feel the need to judge me because my shirts are cut too low, or I’m more of a liberal thinking person than you are. Whatever. I don’t need to explain myself. Even when you shame me for what I wear.

I’m not sorry that my boobs clearly offend you.

And right now there is a list of thing that I am proud of you for but frankly I am too angry to express them right now. Maybe when I cool off and you take that pole out of your ass I’ll actually write them and give them to you. But right now I am too angry and too hurt, and too wounded to do that.

For now…leave me to my devices. And I’ll leave you to yours.

~ The Brooding Dragon

Birthday

So today I woke up and I smiled to myself because, it is my birthday today. Yet I don’t feel different. This isn’t normal as I haven’t felt much different as each year has passed as I age gracefully in this life. Today feels no different than any other day, save for the fact that it is indeed my birthday.

I turn 28 today.

Some people don’t actually believe me when I say this because of how I dress or how youthful I look or hell even how I act. I still feel like a teenager but there are things that I do and I go “Oh yeah I’m too old for that shit.”

When did I start feeling too old?

It isn’t because I am too old because I’m still a young twenty something woman, it’s because I haven’t taken care of myself and I am not in the best shape of my life right now. But I will get there.

But I am grateful. I am lucky. I’m not part of the 27 club. I’ve learned a lot in my 28 years. I’m still learning so much in them. But I am incredibly lucky to have made it this far, and I’m glad.

I cannot tell you how many times in these years (especially my teenage ones) where I felt like I was a ball of nothing, useless, unloved, all the angsty teenage crap that is mostly out of my system. And I’m glad I didn’t disappear, or kill myself or do so much harm to myself that I became a totally different person. I grew out of it, i over came it, and I learned. this isn’t to say I still get angsty once in a while, because I do, but I try not to let it get too out of control.

This year. This year 28 is going to be my year. I’m going to not be so much of a hermit, strengthen my relationships with dear friends, and even best friends, work on not being so awkward, stop trying to impress (unless I absolutely have to to land a role or a job), get a career going, do more in the theatre arts, make more art, try and get projects I’ve been sitting on out from under me and off the ground, etc.

There is too much to list and I’m going to take each day at a time.

Live more in the present even while I work towards the future, try and make this world a better place, and spread love, kindness, and being the change I want to see int he world.

This is the year guys.

This is the year where I will transform. It took me twenty eight years to get here. It’s gonna happen.

~ The Brooding Dragon

AZRF Weeks 7 and 8/ Things I’ve learned

The last two weekends were not so terrible and yet i don’t remember much about either of them. I think I got shot down by a child with a marshmallow catapult and another came to my aide to see if i was alright…but I actually don’t remember alot.

They were the final two weekends and they were bitter sweet.

But I learned alot.

I learned that a good night sleep does wonders for the human body. The last weekend was not kind to me and my body is still recovering from being drunk. That was not fun.

I learned that working the box office for a theatre company the night before faire is a bad idea.

I learned that its always fun to ask children how their day has been and watching their eyes light up when you give them something shiny.

I’ve also learned that “Hi I’m Syri, ask me anything” works better if I am dressed as a fancy pants courtesan. It was fun being a bandit. But I think if I got an upgrade I could play more with it.

I learned that I would use computer and tech slang to respond with when my brain farted and died.

I learned that you gotta push through even if your day is the worst.

I’ve learned that getting drunk and kissing everyone will give you a chipped tooth and probably cause you problems. And make you lose a good friend.

I learned that its okay to take some time to cry.

I’ve learned that a little help and a few kind words go a long way.

I learned that sometimes you need to bail on one thing to enjoy another.

I’ve learned that some days you feel lost but you’ll get through it.

I learned that it’s not okay to demonize someone because you are jealous, and its better to approach them and apologize if you feel like you’ve made them feel unwanted.

I’ve learned that not everything everyone says about someone is the entire story.

I learned that sometimes its better to let things go and not let it ruffle your feathers.

I’ve learned that I might have poly tendencies.

I learned that taking on too much can really lead you to a melt down at four thirty in the morning.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens I have an amazing tribe to vent to and to take care of me and me take care of them in return.

I’ve also learned I am an awkward octopus. Moreso than I realized and the the octopus god will approach whenever she feels like it.

This is just some of what I’ve learned. There is always more. I am growing as a human being. And trying not to take on too much.

~ The Brooding Dragon

Force of Nature

She was a force, one to be reckoned with, and not one to fuck around with. One moment she was quiet, contemplative, focused, and the next she’d be everywhere, laughing, shouting about something, and jumping up and down. Night an day is what she was, there was no dawn or dusk.

But that is not how it started. She started as gentle waves on the beach and grew to be crashing waters against cliffs. Waves I could handle and get lost in.

We met in Phoenix, during a business meeting between her group and mine. I was third wheel, so was she and we ended up sharing a room. Odd really since I thought we’d do two rooms, her with her best friend and best friends husband, me with mine and his wife. But it ended up as three rooms. She paid, not like she couldn’t afford it, but she paid nonetheless and told us it was “not a problem” and it was “her pleasure”.

A selfless act from a hurricane of a woman.

She and I shared a room.

The six of us ended up at dinner, a fancy restaurant up in the Hyatt, all of us dressed to the nines. I decided to tame the mane of hair I had just to attempt to look nice, but sometimes the hair does not want to be tamed.  She had just fluffed her freshly dried curls and was spritzing her face,  “so keep my makeup in place” she had explained, like she read my mind and plucked the question out of it.

I couldn’t help but grin as I escorted her to dinner.

I still remember the smell of her perfume.

Dinner, she was animated, telling story after story when prompted, complete with hand gestures and facial expressions. We were laughing until we couldn’t breathe and people passing by wondered what was wrong with the fancy dressed people howling with laughter in the corner.

She grew deep and passionate when she and her friend spoke about what they did and why they did it. My hand often found its way into hers and she never did protest.

We offered the girls a proposal but they declined, feeling they would lose their brand if they merged with ours. Of course while disappointed we understood, but they offered a compromise. Collaborations every once in a while. This was something we could agree to.

Our friends had retired to their rooms leaving just the two of us. Lucky me because I wanted to pick her brain.

“I’m not tired yet.” She told me, giving me a glance with her honey brown eyes.

“Where do you recommend we go?” I asked.

“If you are up for coffee and pancakes there is an Ihop.” She suggested.

We ended up at an Ihop twenty minutes later, and spent at least four hours sipping coffee, laughing, and chatting about our lives.

But she got deep, and when I noticed the melancholy look in her eyes I had to wonder, who tried to dull her shine, who tried killing her spark?

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m overthinking,” She replied looking me in the eye, “I’ve been over thinking the entire night for the past five minutes wondering what you and your friend think of me and mine, what is going through your head right now, why are you still here listening to me babble on about myself.” It was sincere, raw, honest, and a part of me wondered why she had to ask.

I sat next to her, took her hands with mine, and looked her in the eye.

“You’re interesting.” I told her. “Far more interesting than any girl I’ve met and I’m not talking about what you could possibly do in bed considering we talked about the kinky side of sex.”

She snorted in laughter.

“I’m serious.” I told her reaching up to touch her cheek. I already saw the tears welling in her eyes. “You are a force of nature. That’s terrifying but you’re one of those forces that doesn’t need to be tamed. It’s mesmerizing to watch you and get lost in what your saying. Anyone who is scared of that is a moron.”

“You’re not scared?”

“I’m terrified.” I paused. “But I’m not running. Most people would run from the storm. I want to dive in it.”

That was when she kissed me.

And that is when I got lost in the storm.

 

 

I wanted to write something. It’s been a while.

~ The Brooding Dragon

AZRF week 6

I’m feeling so hungover from this weekend. We were in 90+*F temperatures the entire weekend and many of us wilted far sooner than we thought and somehow some of us survived.

Not too may highlights this weekend but it was not all bad.

  • I was able to gift a custom bone pin to the young man who made me laugh so hard for fifteen minutes upon the dias. This was followed by his dad being “miffed” (he wasn’t miffed) about not getting one himself, and we all proceeded to play it off with me begging for forgiveness for him and him making me feel so guilty to the point where I did feel bad. He was super chill with it but I’m gonna get him a custom pin anyway. Mwahahaha.
  • Being doused in water from head to toe. Holy sweet Jesus it felt so good while being in the heat and it helped me survive.
  • Having a lovely patron flirt with me and get me to blush. I swear this guy was smooth. Smoother than cocoa butter. He was a pretty man and I was almost knocked to my knees.
  • Gummi worms. My friend came with gummi worms and fed them to us. What made it so much funnier was one of the cast I was with was our plague doctor who we tease endlessly. I stuck one to the end of his nose.
  • I got inspired for more of my novel and my world building and events that will happen.
  • Playing with Will Scarlet and Little John on the dias because those gents are so much fun. They are super nice guys.
  • Getting to know a little more about two of my dear rennies. Because of this I love them so much more and they are even more dear to my heart.
  • SURVIVING THE HEAT! Literally thought I was going to collapse…

We have only two more weekends left and while I am sad I am also very grateful because I’ll get my weekends back and actually relax a bit more while I finish the semester.

Soon I’ll be posting more writing, thoughts and some inspirational posts. I’ve been writing more poetry lately.

~ The Brooding Dragon

AZRF Weeks 4 and 5

So Week four was kind of a bust. I didn’t get many highlights from it because I felt so weird and so off that I did not want to remember it. But there was some good and some lovely moments that came out of it. My personal favorite was an inside joke that happened with two of the cast members.

So to give a little background on these guys. They are known as the Heralds of MyeBum, Mashie and Niblek (not their real names just the character names), a father son duo who are so much fun to interact with and to watch. Their word play is absolutely wonderful and they are two of the most delightful humans to hang out with.

So I’m up on the dias (the nice big platform above the gates) with the boys and Mashie (the father) and I see this man wearing a shirt that says S. W. A. G. which stood for Someone Who Admires God. Mashie and I see this and were both like “okay cool bro that’s awesome displaying your faith and not being an asshole about it good for you” but poor precious little Niblek. He did not see the D until it was too late. This precious little eighteen year old boy thought that the shirt said Someone Who Admires Goo.

Yes. He thought this. The poor kid looked so confused. And he told the both of us out loud while we are standing on the dias. His tone was so pure, innocent, and genuine that I about died of laughter. His dad of course got a good kick out of it too.

And it didn’t end there, like he followed this up with question of what kind of goo were they talking about and I’m certain you can imagine where it went from there. Of course I am still cracking up loudly on the dias and I’m pretty certain patrons were wondering what was so funny that I was laughing so hard.

And in commemoration of that moment he is getting a custom made bonepin that says: “S.W.A.G. Someone Who Admires Goo.”

Good job Niblek. You have earned it.

This moment was also followed up by him and his dad freaking out while watching Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure with us and of course I had to give my stellar commentary. Because I could.

Weekend five was time travelers weekend. And it was hot like dear god it was hot. Yes I say hot and I survive triple digit temperatures in the summer. This is also because we’re in a dry dusty desert in multiple layers of clothing. Alot of people went down this weekend because of the heat.

I was almost one of those people. I had to step offstage to lay down in the entertainment office for a good half hour before I could go back out to entertain the masses. There was Air Conditioning in there and lord knew I needed it.

But many new bits came about this weekend. Which was good! I started leaving my mark on cast and patrons alike (that mark being a lipstick kiss upon people) its temporary that’s for certain but ’tis much much fun.

We had a lovely potluck this weekend with alot of good food.

And surprisingly enough a cast member who had given me a hard time apologized to me, sincerely. It was something I hadn’t expected but you know sometimes unexpected things are pretty amazing. Hopefully, just hopefully, he might not be such an arrogant doucheweenie. I’ll give him a second chance but I will still be wary around him.

I would have more but mother nature has decided that I must suffer for deciding not to add to the overpopulation of the world.

~ The Brooding Dragon

 

 

Fight Like a Girl

I fight like a girl because I am a girl.
Don’t underestimate me because I am the “weaker” sex. 
I am not an idiot.
I am intelligent,
Serious,
Sexy,
A blazing fire,
A force to be reckoned with,
I can be all of these things.
Not one or the other
All of them.
And that scares you.
Because you can’t handle it.
Do not think that you will break me easily.
I will persist
I will resist
And I will fight with everything.
I am not ashamed of being a woman.
And I will fight you
Like the dangerous girl I am.
Something I needed to write for International Women’s Day.
Fight like a girl.
Resist.
~ The Brooding Dragon