So today I woke up and I smiled to myself because, it is my birthday today. Yet I don’t feel different. This isn’t normal as I haven’t felt much different as each year has passed as I age gracefully in this life. Today feels no different than any other day, save for the fact that it is indeed my birthday.
I turn 28 today.
Some people don’t actually believe me when I say this because of how I dress or how youthful I look or hell even how I act. I still feel like a teenager but there are things that I do and I go “Oh yeah I’m too old for that shit.”
When did I start feeling too old?
It isn’t because I am too old because I’m still a young twenty something woman, it’s because I haven’t taken care of myself and I am not in the best shape of my life right now. But I will get there.
But I am grateful. I am lucky. I’m not part of the 27 club. I’ve learned a lot in my 28 years. I’m still learning so much in them. But I am incredibly lucky to have made it this far, and I’m glad.
I cannot tell you how many times in these years (especially my teenage ones) where I felt like I was a ball of nothing, useless, unloved, all the angsty teenage crap that is mostly out of my system. And I’m glad I didn’t disappear, or kill myself or do so much harm to myself that I became a totally different person. I grew out of it, i over came it, and I learned. this isn’t to say I still get angsty once in a while, because I do, but I try not to let it get too out of control.
This year. This year 28 is going to be my year. I’m going to not be so much of a hermit, strengthen my relationships with dear friends, and even best friends, work on not being so awkward, stop trying to impress (unless I absolutely have to to land a role or a job), get a career going, do more in the theatre arts, make more art, try and get projects I’ve been sitting on out from under me and off the ground, etc.
There is too much to list and I’m going to take each day at a time.
Live more in the present even while I work towards the future, try and make this world a better place, and spread love, kindness, and being the change I want to see int he world.
This is the year guys.
This is the year where I will transform. It took me twenty eight years to get here. It’s gonna happen.
~ The Brooding Dragon